they came from the 40k, and they brought stupidity
by eccentricman
Summary: an eldar named dreaf warped through a failed transportation device to our world,he meets cody a 19 year old.oh god we all know this can't end well.rated M for language and sexual themes/references.
1. the eldar

Ok first story…

Please review.

Cody was renting a small place on a salary of any other 19 year old. Was college before learning that his book 'horrighoth', a book about some made up world that was supposed to set up a premise for his other books was rejected by his professor .

Because having dragons that had a gem in it's head that barely resembled the swastika wasn't considered 'politically correct'. Turns out the professor believed that Fahrenheit 451 would really happen, and he supported the firemen, but it was realized to late, Cody had dropped out.

Cody walked up to the fridge to get a coke. Was reaching for the classic elixir of happiness when he heard a crash from the basement. He walked to the basement thinking it was his cat again. He walked down, and turned left at the hallway.

He almost had a spaz attack when he saw an Eldar warlock from Warhammer 40k across from him. He tried to look calm. He lifted his arm up and waved to it I hoping it wouldn't kill him outright.

The warlock looked at him and waved back looking pretty stupid due to his helmet. It spoke in a voice that sounded like a guy he knew from college, "do you speak" Cody was shocked and replied "y-yeah I do", he was really nervous now. From what he knew about 40k was that the Eldar had their own agenda and he was afraid that he was in the way of the warlock's agenda. "ok that's the first step" the warlock said.

Cody just stared and having no idea what to say just blurted out "how the hell did you get here" he put his hands over his mouth he could sense that was a bad move. The warlock just walked up to him and said "I was experimenting with a dimensional transportation device and it worked".

Cody now equipped with the knowledge that the warlock wasn't gonna kill him he calmed down and not knowing what else to say he replied, "well that's nice for you" . The warlock rebutted with "not exactly it broke down while I was going through and it and…." the warlock seemed to have no idea what to say.

Cody trying to urge the Eldar to get on with it said "well what did the thing do" the warlock pointed his face to Cody's and yelled "don't rush me I'm trying to state it in such a way that I won't hurt my pride, oh I know what word. It just released a quick burst of heat and energy." "so it blew up" Cody replied. He just Couldn't believe that the eldar could act like this.

The warlock removed his helmet and to reveal the face of an elf from the lord of the rings. And with an expression that just bleeded sad face, the warlock said " yes and now that whe have met may I ask you if I can live until someone makes one that works." Cody surprised, but knowing that this may not end well said "sure" ,the warlock just walked up the stairs.

Chapter 2:I n which we learn that even Eldar get urges

It had been a week since the warlock moved in with Cody. The Eldars name was Dreaf, he was barely considered an adult in Eldar society. as in he was a smart engineer/scientist, he was….a dumbass. He would make guns that fired nano wire shells .he thought it would make a great infantry support weapon when mounted on a falcon.

When the Eldar tested it, about 64% of the infantry died from friendly fire. He made a new gate to be used to move across great distances, the first person to use died due to the fact that his heart hadn't moved through with him.

Cody sat on the couch picked up an Xbox 360 controller and held down the button to turn it on, when he pressed the button on the Xbox it wouldn't turn on.

He just sat on the couch, angry. Dreaf walked into the room and sat on the cushion to the left of him. "whats wrong" ,"Dreaf if you modded the Xbox I'll kill you" Dreaf stood up stared at the Xbox, walked up to it, and started taking it apart faster than a bag of microwave popcorn cooked.

"What the hell Dreaf, I told you not to mod it" "I'm not modding it I'm fixing it" replied Dreaf

"how the hell can you fix it when you don't know what goes where in the first place" Yelled Cody looking a Dreaf with the fires of hell in his eyes. "fine if you don't want to enjoy the jaw dropping epics of noble team fine" Dreaf screamed back. His face drawn into a look that yelled FUCK OFF.

Cody just stared, Dreaf stared back. They had grappled each other into a staring contest, each of them trying to best the other.

They both gave up after in an hour of staring, so they sat up and started to watch TV.

"ok who's turn is it" Cody grunted, "I'm pretty sure its mine since you were using the TV last", "fine put on another anime about robots shooting each other", "hey don't insult Gundam the fight scenes always kickass" retorted Dreaf, as he flipping through the guide to see when Gundam was on. "I know but it's the rest I hate", "fine be that way" Dreaf sighed out toward his friend. Cody suffered through the 2 hours of anime, Cody finally got his turn.

He started searching the channels, pressing the channel button looking for something to watch. "Dreaf did you mod the Xbox", "no get off of it, the thing just kicked the bucket that's basically what everything does eventually.", "I know but really did you", "for the third time no I didn't mess with the Xbox".

"Fine you didn't mod it…..so how what did you do while I was at working" Cody inquire, Dreaf stared as the moment turned akward, "I was watching pay per view", Cody's eyes turned into white flames of fury " I have to pony up the greenbacks for that, you had to watch a channel that lasts for about a day or two for fifteen bucks. what the hell is wrong with you" Cody screamed out in a rage that could scare a Space Marine.

Dreaf inched his way into the corner of the couch, his eyes filled with fear. Though he was an Eldar there was an old saying amongst them 'hell hath no fury like a women's, human's or an Ork's scorn' .

Cody calmed down and face palmed himself, "ok sorry there, I blew a gasket there, Dreaf, pay per view costs money, at least tell me what you paid for in an attempt to make it up", Dreaf looked around and nervously said "uhhhhhhhh I was watching…..", "Dreaf what was it as long as it wasn't porn I won't be angry".

Dreaf really looked like hey was gonna climb under the couch cushions now, paralyzed with fear he whispered, "I was watching anime porn", Cody looking calm, punched Dreaf in the face with the power of rocky.

Then he got up, and stood there in the middle of the room, "do it again and I'll rip of your arm and shove it up your ass.", Cody said with a hint of scorn in his voice. Dreaf calmed down, seeing that the crisis was averted he walked over to the computer with his hand cupping his right eye, and started playing DFO.


	2. the Tau

Ok on to the next chapter.

Please do review and enjoy

Chapter 3:for the greater goodness's sake

Dreaf was on the shadow thunderland. His fingers swam across the keyboard, firing up hotkeys and manually activating abilities alike with ease. Man being an Eldar helped his game so much.

He could easily memorize the manual commands to the abilities, and managed to make it to level 18 in five days. He was on the brink of morphing his Fighter into a Striker.

"Just three rooms left, damn out of mana potions, no, no, no, not Karkazak, those things are pissing me off." Thoughts like these raced through his head.

Right as he was about to muse uppercut/air walk ghoulguish's ass, a huge crash was heard in the basement. Dreaf walked over to the door leading down to the shallow hole that was the basement.

Cody walked up to the door holding a shotgun. "hey you didn't bring a shotgun down when I warped in." groaned Dreaf, Cody just opened the door and walked down, Dreaf followed him his pace. They got to the hall and turned in different directions. Cody dropped gun and stood there looking weary.

"Dreaf it's ok it's, only a Tau." breathed Cody. The Tau looked over at them took of his helmet and with an expression that could put an angry outlaw to shame, replied "only a Tau, only a Tau! your really fuckin' lucky that the fire warrior manual says not to shoot unarmed people! I freakin' hate the greater good if it means I can't vent my anger…!", "he didn't mean it like that, The Tau are awesome, He just meant you wouldn't shoot us on sight.", interrupted Dreaf.

"Oh ok then sorry about that I just get really pissed of sometimes. Though I really do think the greater good is a piece of shit." Apologized the mysterious Tau. "It's ok I don't blame you the greater good seems like it's just a renamed communist regime anyway.". said Cody, looking like he couldn't wait to go back to sleep.

" Also I don't think you'll be going back anytime soon so your gonna have to stay here….and well the government her is a Democracy. so yeah your gonna want to keep that kind of attitude if you wanna blend in." Groaned Dreaf, knowing full well that they he and the Tau would Argue who would sleep on the couch. . Oh well I'll just tell him I gave into my 'urges on it'. He thought to himself as he went up stairs. "oh and tomarrow is the grand tour of this fine estate so get some sleep" hollered Cody to the Tau, as he was climbing up.


	3. overqualified

Hello now for the next chapter in a world that that a particular 19 year old has met a 2 particular men from another world, he will soon learn that life will never let you go through unhindered in the midnight realm

I do not own war hammer 40k or all the other stuff so this is not being made for profit.

Chapter 4:we know what we need to do

Dreaf was sitting on the the backyard steps staring at grass. Cody was at that small resteraunt he worked at. Dreaf was feeling useless, he wanted to do something . He thought he might go meet the neighbors using the perfect cover story Cody had come up with, but he had decided against it. He had seen the Brady Bunch and everyone but Cody, Ghi'shal, and Dreaf acted like that.

All happy and heart warming. It was fucking creepy. "hey Dreaf need anything" yelled their neighbor Rick who was standing on the fence." uhhhh nothing Rick I was about to go inside you know inyasha is on so I gotta see it you know me hehe" replied Dreaf as he walked backwards to the door. He was not going to get caught in a conversation with a creepy real life Brady Bunch rip off.

When he made it inside he decided looked at the news paper. That was on the doorstep, another creepy thing they hired kids to throw newpapers at the doorsteps, Dreaf was pretty sure that was underage child labor.

It was there that he saw it, the thing that he realized what he needed. He began to probe the now hiring section, searching for something he could excel at. "hey Dreaf whatcha' doin", asked Ghi'shal, Dreaf's Tau roomate. "just been feeling useless so I'm looking for a job." replied Dreaf. "oh well do you mind if I find one too, I have been feeling inadequate as well." sighed Ghi'shal.

"fine just don't go Ape shit insane if you don't get the job", "what the hell is that supposed to fuckin' mean you dumbass, anime obsessed space elf. If you say anything like that again and I'll punch you so hard in the face that I'll be able to rip out your egotistical brain and shove it up the shaft of you fuckin' dick, Then I'll take your dick and shove it up your ass!" Screamed Ghi'shal, his fists flailing the In the air as though he was trying to smash the germs that flowed through the air.

Dreaf fell from the chair and crawled away from the enraged Tau, as he went through his near daily fit. "it's not that you'll go crazy, it's just you know how you get.", ghi'shal wasn't listening to this as he was counting to ten. "oh sorry dude. It's just I don't know I blow a fuse. Well what's on sale at the jobo-mart." Apologized Ghi'shal as he flipped through the newspaper.

Chapter 5:what a cruel misteress the job market is.

Dreaf was walking down town to his first job interview. He was confident that he could get it. The position was for a lab assistant, a lab assistant. He was an eldar for gods sake.

He walked into the lab and up to the receptionist. "hello I'm here for the job interveiw." Dreaf smirked as the words rolled across his tongue. "just tell me your name and I'll call you when it's time for your interveiw.".

An hour later he was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, in the office of the guy who owned this project. "so you wanna be an assistant eahhhh." snorted the guy. He looked like the perfect double of Moe from the three stooges. The office looked liked a replica of an office you'd see in a movie from the 50's. Not only that, but it felt like that everything that was in there except for the laptop on the desk was an antique that was restored to its former glory.

"yeah I am got a problem with that C." replied Dreaf with a grin. " well too bad your know to much, Your overqualified I can't give someone a job their overqualified for, it would be an insult to them and there abilities. Now go kick the road." gushed the Owner, in a voice that would've made Moe proud.

"but you don't understand I'm willing to take the job I don't, care about whether I am too qualified.", Dreaf said as his smirk was ripped away from his face. " really, well I do care, and I'm the boss, and I say your overqualified so get out.". snorted the owner. Dreaf walked away and out the door. "so how'd it go" asked Ghi'shal who had waited outside all that time. "I didn't get." "Wait you're an Eldar scientist, who couldn't get a job at a small, obscure research project. How is that even possible". "It's what happens when the guy who runs the place says your too good for the job" groaned Dreaf, his face pointed at the ground. Staring at some rocks that laid on the ground.


	4. not SKYNET

disclaimer: I don't own war hammer 40k, or the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

Ghi sat down on the couch. His mind aching. He hated those stupid citizenship tests. "so how'd it go." asked Dreaf. Who was sitting on the other side of the couch. " I don't know. They said they'll call me when they have the results.", "that's gay, I mean it's a small town how many immigrants can there be.", " how the fuck should I Dreaf I'm not on the census bureau, or whatever.", " ok, but you have to see something."

Ghi looked at Dreaf. " if it's like that time you made that homemade flamethrower out of gasoline and a squirt gun….well I ain't testing it. No matter how awesome it seems, I just know I'll get sent to the hospital. In fact that's why I had to take that stupid citizenship test."

Dreaf just looked annoyed at this point. " it's not a fucking test. I learned that after the flamethrower incident you mentioned. The thing I wants you to see is my."

Dreaf got up, and took out a CD from Cody's small CD collection. He put it in his laptop. At this point some sorta punk rock wash playing. "as I was saying, I want you to see my new, intelligent, sentient, actually feeling.. Artificial intelligence program."

" so your telling me you made a self aware intelligent program. And actually turned it on. You idiot."," Ghi how can I be an idiot, if I made an intelligent , self aware program." , Ghi gave Dreaf a death stare." because you idiotic space elf, it could and probably will, go terminator on us and destroy mankind, and us.", Dreaf just grinned. " I'm not stupid. I'm well aware of that fact. That's where the feeling aspect of it comes into play.",

" how dreaf, tell me how your brilliant Idea to give a program the Idea to form opinions, is a good Idea.", " I'll show you." dreaf brought his laptop up. "ok Marvin you can speak your piece". A voice emerged from the laptop.

" I don't understand why I listen to you. I also don't like all this porn in here either. It makes me depressed because I don't have a girlfriend, which I can't have. because I'm in a computer." said the program in a very depressed manner. " good joke about the porn Marvin." replied dreaf to the obviously depressed laptop." that wasn't a joke."


	5. plot choice

I need plot ideas choose one and then PM me about which one you want. Or post it in the review section.

I know not many people read this. Those of you who do thank you. Please do review as well.

A( dreaf, Ghi, and Cody get sent to the uglies universe [the scott westerfeld one]

B( Ghi gets stuck in a goth convention[no offense to Goths, and expect stereotypes] filled with Goths that have gone insane for some reason.[think zombies from 28 days later.

C( Cody gets kidnapped by [no offense to scientologists, expect fanaticism] so Ghi, and dreaf have to save him. using guns, aaannnnnnd a prototype, heavily armed walker type vehicle[ anyone familiar with leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, think modern day storm walker.]

That's all of them for now.

Ps: Dreaf and Ghi come from a version of the 40kverse where there is no warp. Why? Cause, that's why.

\


End file.
